


trying my best, giving my all (turns out that's not very much at all)

by bratainamerica



Series: no matter how hard i try, this is only ever gonna end in my demise [3]
Category: House M.D.
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flirting, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends With Benefits, Greg House is Bad With Emotions, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Late Night Conversations, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Mild Language, No Smut, Pining, Post-Episode: s01e01 Pilot, cameron blabbed to chase and he wants to know the truth, especially with chase but hes like no gays here, god i love foreman, house is hella observant, house pined for cuddy for 6 seasons, im dragging out this pining, rated for language, that's with chase's mom, this is a short one, were finally out of precanon and now i can love foreman like he deserves it.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25587814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bratainamerica/pseuds/bratainamerica
Summary: Chase knew he got a lot of things wrong. He thought House maybe, just might care about him. He thought he'd finally got out when he was kicked out of seminary. He thought that him and House could grow into more than nothing to each other. Naturally, he lied to himself when he thought of House having the ability to care about him. He even thought that when he moved to the States and starting working with House it'd be a way to escape from the thumb of Rowan Chase, well, he was wrong about that too.**THIS IS THE THIRD WORK IN A SERIES, OTHER WORKS NOT NEEDED BUT RECOMMENDED FOR BEST ENJOYMENT**
Relationships: Robert Chase/Greg House
Series: no matter how hard i try, this is only ever gonna end in my demise [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792645
Comments: 13
Kudos: 65





	trying my best, giving my all (turns out that's not very much at all)

**Author's Note:**

> hey y'all! how are you doing? well i hope! this is the fic that started the idea of this whole series. i started rewatching with my best friend when i first started this series, and the idea of a house/chase hurt/comfort sprung to mind and it turned into a full series. this fic was originally going to go to season 3 and then end, but now it's going all eight season! i have everything planned out and an outline and everything, so yeah, that's happening. i really hope you guys are enjoying it.
> 
> i hope you guys don't mind but i wanna use my platforms to spread positive vibes, i hope you guys are staying safe and if you're in the U.S like i am that you're wearing your mask and social distancing, because just because things are opening up doesn't mean that covid is over. you still need to stay safe and healthy. secondly, i want to say, black lives matter. innocent people are losing their lives to police brutality every day and it's so important to stay informed and up to date with petitions. even if it doesn't affect you directly it's still important. here's a link to resources to support the black lives matter movement, https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/
> 
> i'm sorry bout getting all political on y'all but it's really important. lastly i wanna say, i'm aware that the male version of blonde is blond but that's ugly and i will not be appreciating that so, yes, i'm using blonde :), no one's said anything about it i just wanted to inform you. also, in season 5 of house chase says that he doesn't want cats but i'm ignoring that because quite frankly i would d i e for lo and behold. and lastly, idk how comfortable i am with posting my smut, so rn it's kinda tentative on whether or not i'm going to post smut for this au. 
> 
> comment! plz give me kudos i crave validation and feedback! i hope y'all enjoy! love you!!
> 
> xoxo, ollie
> 
> Title from "Lavender" by Penelope Scott

Chase turned restlessly in House’s bed. His shoulders and chest marred with light hickeys, he turned over and faced House. House was on his side, now facing the younger male, he looked so much more relaxed when he was asleep, deep frown lines smoothed with comfort. Chase ran his fingers over House’s temple to his cheek. Chase hated the conversation that he had to have with his (Fuckbuddy?? Coworker?? What were they?) boss. He’d been mulling it over and over in his mind since Cameron told him what House had said earlier that day. 

_“I hired Chase because his dad made a phone call.”_

Chase had no clue if that statement was supposed to hurt him as much as it did. Despite their agreement, House was just as brutal to Chase as he was the other two. Making small digs at them, forcing them to work harder. House had never really brought up why they were hired though. He told Foreman that he hired him because of his past record, and apparently told Cameron it was because she was pretty (Him and House weren’t sleeping together when she was hired so he didn’t really know if that was true). Chase hadn’t wondered why he was hired before, he saw the ad, and applied for it. He didn’t know if he actually got it because of his asshole father.

If it was because of his asshole father, Chase definitely had a few words to say about that. Rowan Chase had left him, his mother and his one year old sister when Chase was a child. His mom was always halfway through a bottle and drank herself to death. Despite graduating at sixteen, he got out when he was eighteen, leaving Cecilia behind (Something he did regret) and going to seminary. He hadn’t heard from his father in years, why was the man butting into his life now? It was a year ago, maybe Chase didn’t have a right to be angry anymore. 

Chase huffed quietly, looking at House’s alarm clock, the blaring red ‘2:43 a.m.’ stared at him straight in the face. He tried to bury his head in House’s pillow, which even though Chase spent three out of seven nights at House’s, still smelled like him. He just wasn’t tired. He felt House stir besides him and cursed quietly. “Go back to sleep,” he whispered quietly, “I’m fine.”

House, dreary and already wanting to go to sleep would’ve been content with that, but something about Chase was off. “You moved.” House noticed, with anyone else House wouldn’t be suspicious, but Chase was different. He slept in the same bed as Chase a couple times a week, Chase was such a deep sleeper he never moved, or got up. “Which means you haven’t been sleeping, you only do that when something bothers you, what’s wrong?” Chase rolled his eyes, ignoring the question.

“Go back to sleep, I’m not going to be the one you blame when you’re cranky in the morning.” House knew Chase was right, and that Chase would most definitely be the butt of House’s jokes tomorrow if he was kept from anymore sleep, he shrugged to himself. 

“You’re avoiding the question,” It’s not like Chase actively told things to House. He didn’t wear his heart on his sleeve like Cameron. He also didn’t wall up like Foreman, he was a blend between the two of them. 

“I just don’t feel like talking about it right now. Just go to sleep.” House’s eyes narrowed, the gears in his head turning, a new puzzle needed solving he wouldn’t be able to sleep. House shook his head, leaning over Chase and grabbing his bottle of Vicodin and popping a few pills. 

“No.” Chase stared at House. “Just tell me what you’re upset about and then I can go back to sleep,” House stated simply, as if it was just a quick and easy thing. As if, he didn’t know Chase had been thinking about it for hours on end. He didn’t really, so Chase couldn’t be mad at him. 

“And take away your new puzzle? No thanks.” Chase turned away from House, bearing his back to the older male, he curled up and pretended to fall asleep, hoping it would put House off. House seemed sated for a couple of seconds, before he let out a sigh. Chase felt House move next to him and wanted to sigh. House sat up, resting against the headboard.

“I know you’re not asleep. You hate sleeping in that position. Even if you’re pissed at me.” House told him. If Chase didn’t want House to drop the subject, he would’ve been touched that House noticed something that small about him. Although, he supposed that was House’s _thing._ Chase turned, laying on his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows. House’s sheet pooled at his lower back, covering his bare waist and lower body. “You’re also more cuddly when you’re tired.” Chase had to hide his blush at that.

Chase stayed quiet for a second. He didn’t know what to say, he knew what he wanted to say but he was afraid of phrasing it. “Did Wilson proposition you?” House asked, he seemed to be on his stupid guessing part of the process, “Cameron found out about us.” Nothing. “Foreman called my phone and you answered? Cuddy gave you a better job?” House seemed to be throwing out bullshit now. “Cuddy found out about us? No! Cuddy propositioned you!”

“Did you only hire me because my dad made a phone call?” Chase blurted. House stopped his mid-guess of Chase’s pet koala accidentally starting a fire in his apartment (Which would’ve made Chase laugh). House was silent for a couple seconds. 

“How’d you know?” Chase stared expectantly. What was he expecting? House to stop, to say ‘No! I only told Cameron that so she’d stop bothering me about you and Foreman.’ House wouldn’t. Chase didn’t know if he wanted House to. 

“Cameron told me.” House cursed under his breath. He hadn’t meant for Chase to find out. Chase picked at the sheets. 

“Are you really upset about that comment?” House asked, it wasn’t teasing, he almost sounded concerned. House looked down at Chase, “Don’t tear a hole in my sheets.” He told him, Chase let the sheet go. 

“Did you?” House groaned, he really wished that he went back to bed now. Chase shifted again, getting closer to House. Close enough that if it was a normal night, and Chase was sleeping, he would’ve been able to rest his head on House’s chest. He would’ve been able to listen to the man’s heartbeat.

“That’s between me and Cuddy,” He tried. He needed to avoid this conversation now. If he told him the truth, any of it. It was branching over into important conversation, and important conversation was part of relationship territory. They were not a relationship.

They didn't do any relationship things. They just switched off going to each other's houses, bringing dinner and sometimes watching movies together. They fucked. It was purely platonic (as platonic as sex can be) sex. With maybe some cuddling after (he found out that House actually enjoyed cuddling), and sleepovers. Chase sometimes walked around the house in whatever shirt House came over in, and there were some clothes left over at each other's homes. But they weren’t a relationship. There was no label. There were no mushy-gushy feelings, it was them fucking and having fun.

“That’s bullshit, we both know it.” House leaned back against his headboard. Chase kept staring him down. His eyebrows furrowing and looking down. “Why won’t you tell me? You obviously respect Foreman enough to tell him the truth, and like–er–dislike, I don’t know, whatever, you obviously told Cameron about it.”

House sighed, gesturing to Chase, and the bed. “I don’t see them in my bed right now.” Chase had to admit, House did have a point, how could he argue that House respected the others more when Chase was the one sleeping with him. “You really don’t need to worry about it, I kept you on the team.” Not for lack of trying to get Chase off of it. The blonde really didn’t need to know that though. 

Chase huffed. “You’re avoiding both questions now. Didn’t you want me to tell you what was wrong?” Chase’s annoyance was rising. He wasn’t mad per se, he wanted House to talk to him.

“That was before I knew it was an important conversation.” House admitted. At Chase’s puzzled look, House sighed. “Important conversations are part of a relationship, and last I checked, we’re not a relationship.” Chase’s face fell for a second. House noticed it. It wasn’t often he regretted what he said, but the look on Chase’s face, the wounded puppy look, made House want to stick a sock in it.

“You’re right. We’re not a relationship,” Chase mustered out. His voice strained. “But, you are my boss. So I’m asking you as an employee. Why the fuck did you hire me?” House hated the strain in Chase’s voice, a strain House only heard when Chase was extremely pissed, or extremely upset. At that moment, it seemed that Chase was teetering on the edge of both. 

“Honestly?” Chase nodded slowly. “I hired you because you were good. You were fresh eyes, and you were smarter than all other applicants, no one knows how much I hated Sinclair and Jefferson more than you and Wilson.” House admitted, Chase felt a flush at the praise. (House also had to admit that Chase looked very pretty while flustered) “I kept you, because Cuddy told me I had to.” And, Chase stopped being flustered. “But, also because I liked you. You were witty, and according to Wilson ‘the nicer version of me.’ Whatever the fuck that means.” Chase gave a watery laugh, the strain in his voice gone, familiar with that crackle in his voice that he got when he was on the verge of tears.

“Oh,” Chase said dumbly. A little touched that House actually admitted that he liked him. “So my dad didn’t make the call?” Chase asked, because he really needed to know if he did.

House turned to him, running his hand through Chase’s hair. Far too domestic a move for House, but Chase liked it and the blonde’s hair was soft and House hated to admit it but he liked seeing Chase’s smile. “He did. But that wasn’t the only reason why I hired you.” 

Chase looked down at the space between them, House’s deft fingers running through his hair and coming down to thumb his jawline. “I just want to be something besides ‘Rowan Chase’s Son.’ I want to be my own person. Outside of my father.” 

House nodded, Chase melted into House’s touch. “You are.” This was the most sappy Chase had ever seen House. Maybe it was the late time or the fact that House maybe, for once, felt bad. Chase liked it, whatever it was. “You’re better than him. Better in every fucking way.” Chase gave a lop-sided grin at the praise. 

“Am I now?” He teased, with a cocky grin. House retracted his hand, which Chase just brought right back to his hair. House didn’t mind, combing through Chase’s hair was relaxing for him too. 

“Yeah. You are.” House had to turn away from Chase to conceal his smile. “Why do you care so much anyway?” 

“Every teacher I had from med school asked me if there was a relationship to Rowan Chase,” Chase started slowly, House let him continue. “When I told them we were related, they hailed me like I was better than I was. I knew I was smart, not everyone can graduate high school at sixteen, but med school was still challenging. I was still like every other student. They didn’t treat me like it. Every time I got a question wrong they told me I should be better because I had a legend teaching me as a child.” Chase huffed quietly. “I didn’t even have him growing up and I sure as hell don’t have him now.”

“If I was hailed like a legend I wouldn’t do shit.”

“I know,” Chase laughed softly, House did too. “I guess I’m grateful to have you treat me like shit sometimes.” (Read: All the time), “It reminds me to get off my high horse, but also tells me I’m smart enough to be on my team.”

“You are smart, Robbie,” House chastised. Chase had to fight off the urge to beam at the name, something he was growing accustomed to hearing. “I wouldn’t keep you if you weren’t. Don’t expect to hear that from me often.” Chase didn’t. But, it was nice to hear when he did. “Your dad did make the call, and Cuddy did force me to hire you; but I would’ve chosen you anyway. You already know I choose what interests me, and...” House trailed off.

“And I interested you.” Chase gave a soft smile, maneuvering up the bed to rest on House’s chest. The soft beat of House’s heart brought a familiar wave of calm over him. House’s hand changed from his hair and his cheek to down his back instead. Blunt nails teasing sensitive skin in a way that only felt positive.

“I mean, who the fuck is certified in hypnotism?” House asked him. It was rhetorical for him, but Chase guessed House was probably wondering himself. Chase laughed quietly, except it was more of a quiet snort. 

“I don’t know; anyone who took that rotation with me?” House nodded, accepting that answer. Chase accepted it too, one arm wrapped around House’s middle, tracing small shapes on House’s stomach. House shifted under him, allowing them both to be more comfortable. 

“ _Touché.”_

“Cuddy terrifies me, by the way,” Chase added, it was an afterthought that seemed to make House chuckle. Chase looked up at him with a false glare, pouting tongue in cheek. “Don’t laugh!”

“She shouldn't scare you.” House told him, leaning down to kiss Chase’s lips. Chase removed his head from House’s chest to meet his lips. Chase melted into the kiss much like he melted into House’s touch earlier. He didn't hide it because what touch-starved person wouldn't react to something as good as a kiss. “She’s all bark and no bite.” He told him, as if that explained everything (it didn’t). 

“And what are you? All bite and no bark?” Chase offered. House leaned back down, this time going over to Chase’s ear and lightly nipping at the cartilage.

“I don’t know, you tell me,” He whispered. He pulled away from Chase, a shit eating grin spread across his face. Chase looked a mixture of both unamused and flustered.

“You’re disgusting.” Chase told him, barely hitting him on the chest. He leaned up, kissing House’s cheek, another fairly domestic move that House would normally not condone.

“You walked right into it!” Chase rolled his eyes, knowing it’s true, but replanted himself onto House’s chest. House’s hand went back to his hair and played with the ultra soft strands. Chase relaxed slowly, cuddling into House’s side. 

The blaring red alarm clock now read ‘3:28 a.m.’ They had to be awake at 7:30. They could be together for a few more hours. The rise and fall of House’s chest, the steady thump of House’s heart, and the surprising safety and comfort that being with House gave him, lulled him right to sleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! hope you enjoyed! comments and kudos are much appreciated! love y'all!
> 
> xoxo, ollie


End file.
